August 9, 2010

Slim T's. Be fat and look slim!

Slim T's.  Weight loss infomercials have always been a favorite of mine.  Diet pills help you burn calories and lose weight without changing your donut-filled diet.  Sure, you'll feel jittery all day, but that's better than feeling fat all day, right?  Besides, diet pills worked wonders for Anna Nicole Smith!  Infomercials for ab exercise devices promise ripped abs in only minutes a day.  They don't mention the fact that you probably need to lose the 70 pounds of jelly belly around your midsection before anyone will be able to see a hint of a six pack, no matter how many stomach crunches or ab circles or tummy twists you do.  P90X, Insanity, Windsor Pilates, Tai Bo and countless other DVDs probably do work if you can stick to their impossible routines.  I tried P90X, but, like all you other fatties out there, I only lasted a couple of weeks.  It sounded so simple....90 days to a tight and firm body.  I was smart enough to realize that watching the DVDs wasn't enough, but I didn't realize that I would be in so much pain after my first P90X workout that I wouldn't be able to get out of bed the next morning.  Then, I read the instructions, and the promised weight loss only seemed to come about if you stuck to their rigid diet of celery and $60 protein powder.

Ugh!  Weight loss just isn't as easy as infomercials promise.  Until now!  Introducing Slim T's...the revolutionary way to not appear sloppy and fat without having to go on any crash diet, killer workout routines or dangerous drug regimens.  Simply squeeze into this 11 year old boy sized wife beater Slim T and voila!, you can instantly see your feet...even if you can't feel them anymore as the blood rushes to your heart in full survival mode as your gut is squeezed through to your spine.  Sounds painful...but I assume they feel like the ladies' counterpart, the Kymaro Body Shaper...which actually isn't that bad.  And, as a side benefit, there is no way to fit a cheeseburger AND a milkshake in your belly wearing one of these tight shirts.  Other side can still wear your 1976 Nike tank top and no one will see your Slim T hiding securely below.

Email Readers Click Here to See the INFOMERCIAL!


Buy Phentermine said...

Good article for be fat and look slim. This idea for women tend to gain fat around their hips and thighs while men gain fat around their tummy. That could be why your legs aren't as slim as you want them to be, even though the rest of your body is slim.

sophie said...

Weight loss is the goal of most women, and yet, disadvantages are sometimes forgotten, just focusing on the goal.

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