Jupiter Jack - Billy Mays' new product featured on Pitchmen

Jupiter Jack. Last night on The Discovery Channel's Pitchmen show, the Jupiter Jack was declared a winner. The device is simple - plug into your cell phone and every car within 25 feet will be able to listen to your conversation if they turn their radios to 88.7 FM. That is unless the device isn't compatible with your particular radio, as was the case with at least one of the cars tested during the filming of Pitchmen. Still, mark me at my word that this will be a big hit in 2009...it has Billy Mays, Telebrands, a cheap price and a high demand since several states are making it illegal to drive while holding your cell phone. For $10, who's going to return it?

www.buyjupiterjack.com I'm only 4 to 6 weeks away from owning my own Jupiter Jack!

Billy Mays on Nightline

Billy Mays is no longer just a pitchman. He's a star! Check out the Nightline story from a week or so back to get a behind the scenes look at what it's like to be a pitchman...notice that Billy never turns off his pitch. Billy Mays fans are lucky...we're seeing more and more of him in line with the launch of his new show, Pitchman on the Discovery Channel. Be sure to set your TiVo each Wednesday night.
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7417152

Dual Saw with Billy Mays + Anthony Sullivan

Dual Saw. This product was featured on last week's Pitchmen on the Discovery Channel. Here's a 6 minute cut from the Dual Saw 30 minute infomercial starrting both Billy Mays AND Anthony Sullivan. The demos are incredible! I am no home improvement expert, but I could barely hold myself back from ordering my own Dual Saw...I'm still not sure what I'll use it for, but doesn't it look like a ton of fun!

Funny products

I haven't seen any of these on TV, but they are hilarious products. Any one of them would surely have won my free iPod contest...so let me know if you see other funny products out there.

Hair cutting umbrella. So you don't have to take off your Snuggie whilst getting a hair cut.

Lotion Applicator. Personally, I prefer that the man in my life applies lotion to my back, but when he's not available, I'll just live with the tiny dry skin patch that I can't quite reach on my own.

Pants Stretcher. A Thanksgiving dream. Maybe that's why you don't have a significant other in your life that can rub lotion on your back for you!

See more funny As Seen On TV products at http://www.harrietcarter.com/.

CelluScience - "Science Never Looked So Sexy"

CelluScience. "Science never looked so sexy." Their line, not mine. Although, I will agree that their ad is all about sex. They promise to get rid of Cellulite...I'm a bit young to worry about cellulite...yet. BUT, I know it's a huge problem for everyone. If the product really works, then it's a phenomenal breakthrough. You just need to watch out for a few industry tricks. Diet pill companies are usually the sleaziest of all infomercial companies. They overpromise, and sometimes outright lie. There is one "company" that gets sued every time they introduce a new product. Their strategy is to simply change the name of the company and introduce a similar product with a new name...sleazy. Another strategy of these companies is to trick you into joining a monthly "continuity" program where they send you a new bottle of pills every 30 days and automatically charge your credit card. This can be a very helpful program when it's carried out openly and honestly, as the Proactiv (www.proactiv.com) company does.

However, if you go to http://www.getcelluscience.com/ and check out their shopping cart, the pricing is very deceiving. They promise you one month free, but charge you $67.99 for the first month (I guess month #3 is free???). They also conceal the fact that you will be signed up for a payment of $67.99 every 30 days! You can always cancel, but by that time, they will likely have bilked you out of $130 or more. Be wary. Be very, very wary...but still check out the ad, it's pretty funny, especially when you realize what kind of company they are.

Impact Gel - Winning "Pitchmen" spot

Impact Gel. Sure to be a classic Billy Mays spot. A similar spot has been on the air for a couple of months, but they just released a new version this past week coinciding with the product being featured on Billy Mays' and Anthony Sullivan's new Discovery Channel show, Pitchmen. Over 200,000 sets have been sold to date, and they don't appear to be slowing down. Two demos are incredible in this spot, and are surely driving the success of the product: Billy smashing his hand with a hammer and Billy's hand getting run over with a car, both with no harm because of the Impact Gel technology. Something I learned watching Pitchmen last week was that Anthony's hand was the hand getting run over...a great sneak peek into how some of these demos are pulled off without harming the talent...truly a masterful spot. http://www.buyimpactgel.com/

Be sure to catch Pitchmen Wednesday night on The Discovery Channel at 10pm EST.

Pedi Pistol - most disturbing new spot

Pedi Pistol. Dumb and Dumber. I'm not saying this product is dumb or dumber, I just think I've seen it before. Remember the scene in Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd gets a pedicure with a grinder? Hilarious, but disgusting scene. Maybe it's just my objection to feet on my 40 inch TV, but this product gets my vote for most disturbing of the week. Very clearly, it targets the obese that can't bend to touch their toes. Listen for the hidden line, "after I got so big, I couldn't reach my toes anymore..." Honestly, I have no problem with that - I just think that they should use these overly obese women in the ad to be completely honest.


Also, I'm sure the company, TeleBrands, a purveyor of some of the most well-know ASOTV products ever sold, is speaking to those of us suffering in this "new economy" that can no longer afford spa pedicures. For those that fit in this ever-growing category, I have come up with my own kit. You can either buy it from me for $19.99, or head to the nearest Walgreens and buy your own for $0.19.

Classic Infomercials

I found a video that shows some of the all-time classic infomercials. When you're pressed for time, but still want to have a good laugh, check out this video for a snapshot of some of the funniest spots of all-time. My personal favorite is the Hawaii Chair...what's yours?

The next big thing.

It Works! Quite a claim. It's a claim we've heard in the past, but this product truly looks miraculous. I debuted on QVC on Monday and sold out in its first airing. I found a very similar product in Germany 6 months ago that has become a huge hit in Germany, and it looks like it will be a hit in the U.S. now. I haven't seen an infomercial for this product yet, but with a performance like at on QVC, you'll certainly see it soon.

The demos are unbelievable! It Works! reminds me of OxiClean back in its heyday. Check out the QVC link and see if you agree...be patient with the video download if it's a bit jumpy...it's worth waiting for the download!

http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.CM_SCID.24hr.item.V27160.desc.It-Works-MultiStain-Remover-4pc-Kit Click on the "Videos" tab.

Top 5 spots of the week

Interesting week. I found five brand new spots that are all pretty good. I must say that I like these products, and I believe that a couple of them will be successes.

1. Instant Alarm, home security system, without all the expense.
2. Lock Fresh, inexpensive vacuum sealed food.
3. Arm & Hammer Whitening Booster, teeth whitening without annoying trays.
4. EZ Bundler, new packaging product from Billy Mays.
5. Arm & Hammer 2 in 1 Dryer Sheets, save money and time...

Instant Alarm. Installs in seconds. Cheap. A pretty good product for when you need a security system by don't want to pay $50 every month for the rest of your life. Anthony Sullivan does a good job of selling the features and benefits...I'm sold! http://www.getinstantalarm.com/

Lock Fresh. "Can't afford an expensive vacuum sealer?" No. I can't. Holy cow, those things are expensive. I don't know if this product works, but it's a much better idea than last week's BananaSeal. "Stock it, lock it and pump it." I love these catch phrases...and this item is sure to be a hit! http://www.getlockfresh.com/

Arm & Hammer Whitening Booster. Great idea, but I'm not sure why this is different from whitening toothpaste, other than the fact that you have to add an extra step with the Arm & Hammer product. Plus there's something more concerning about using "extra strength" whitening chemicals with my toothpaste. Am I a worrier just because I don't really want to swallow any of that stuff? www.buywhiteningbooster.com

EZ Bundler. "Bundle everything, fast, neat and easy." "Just zip, click and go!" Classic Billy Mays spot. I was sold before Billy could say "call now." My Home Smart EZ Bundler is on its way...with the "free" second bundler. Now I just need to figure out what to bundle. Any ideas? www.buythebundler.com

Arm & Hammer 2 in 1 Dryer Sheets. Anthony Sullivan for Arm & Hammer? Seems odd, until you realize that Church & Dwight, the owner of Arm & Hammer (and Trojan!) bought OxiClean in 2006. I've noticed several infomercials coming out of that company over the past year...Now they're even using their pitchmen to sell their tried and true Arm & Hammer brand. This concept is great: combine fabric softener and anti-static into one, easy to use dryer sheet. Am I the only one that believes Bounce does the same thing? www.mylaundrybasket.com

Billy Mays on Discovery Channel "Pitchmen" Series

Be sure to set your TiVo's for 10pm EST to record the Discovery Channel's new show, Pitchmen, starring infomercial greats Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan. A quick teaser to give you a taste of what you can expect:

Here's a great link to view some of the best infomercials ever produced starring either Billy Mays or Anthony Sullivan. Vote for your favorite and see the tallied results...you might be surprised...I was!
http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/pitchmen/infomercial-vote/infomercial-vote.html

Water Works...feminine hygiene

Water Works. I'm sorry. I feel awkward sharing this video, but I feel the world needs to know that products like this are being hawked in infomercials too. Not all spots are lightheartedly funny. Not all are products that you can't live without. Some are just gross. The spot itself isn't that disgusting, as long as you don't understand what the product actually is...which is a safe bet if you're 7 years old. It's 5 minutes long. You don't need to watch the whole thing to get a chuckle, but you likely won't be able to turn it off once it starts. Pay attention to how low your jaw drops, especially when you see the IV bag the device comes with. Again, I'm sorry. http://www.waterworkshealth.com/

Top 5 spots of the week

Funny. There's one reason that word is in the header banner on this website: infomercials are funny. This week is no disappointment. I found 5 brand new spots that are real doozies!

1. Heart Start home defibrillator, this isn't scary at all.
2. Sponge Tech, how much tech is there really when making sponges?
3. Nature's Nectar, funny, but not for the reasons you're thinking.
4. Newsmax, funny free product giveaway.
5. BananaSeal, nuff said.

Heart Start. Are you tired of not living on the edge? Frustrated with the lack of dangerous products the government will allow you to have in your own home? Perhaps, you're scared that you could have a heart attack any minute? Well now there's Heart Start, the home defibrillator. If your heart stops, this will get it started. In a society where most of us are scared to administer CPR, even on our own family, now you can send 1,000 volts through your loved ones to bring them back to life just like James Bond had to do to rid his body of deadly poison in Casino Royale...it could happen to you too...http://www.amazon.com/heartstart (you'll never guess how much this thing costs!)

Sponge Tech. "When is a sponge not a sponge?" A sponge is always a sponge. That's why they are called sponges, and why they cost about 10 cents a piece! Count how many times they say, "this is not a sponge..." in the ad. You'll quickly discover that they spend a lot of time trying to convince you this is NOT a sponge, so you won't be shocked when you find out you would have to pay $15 for 4 of them. But wait! These sponges have a patented soap infusion so you won't have to add your own soap...huh? Don't forget that you'll get a free Puddle Pal that you can use to wash your kids. What kind of patented chemical is in the Puddle Pal that I'm going to rub all over my baby??? http://spongetechtv.com

Nature's Nectar. "Does your family enjoy feeding hummingbirds as much as we do?" "Remember how much trouble your old hummingbird feeder was?" If you answered yes to either of these ridiculous questions, then please call 877-772-3642. Otherwise, check out the video for a good laugh. I especially love how "simple" it is to set this product up in only 13 steps...

Newsmax. Liberal bias? Yes. Afraid of scare tactics? No. Whether you agree that this magazine is politically slanted in a leftish direction or not...and I'm not picking sides here...you'll find this ad funny. After watching the first 20 seconds of the spot, I sold everything I owned on eBay and moved into the hills to escape terrorist threats. But then I was scared of forest fires, so I decided to bite the bullet and get my free emergency radio from Newsmax. Now I'm sleeping like a baby and don't have a care in the world...except when I turn on my emergency radio and hear all the scary things that are happening in my neighborhood! www.newsmax.com

BananaSeal. It's a Chip Clip. The only difference is that you have to pay shipping and handling. Oh yeah, and the promise that "your food will never go stale." Also, the pitchman is 10 years old, how could you resist? www.bananaseal.com

Be happy.

Louis CK was a guest on Conan a while back and delivered a powerful, if funny, monologue about why we should be happy with what we have. We have been spoiled by OxiClean that can remove any stain imagineable, by ShamWow that can soak up liquid in your neighbor's home without making you get off the couch, by countless air purifiers that remove the microscopic particles from the air that can harm us even though our grandmas are living to the age of 107 without ever having used ionic air cleaners, by Proactiv that takes away the embarrassment of being a teenager, by Cash4Gold that turns pretty trinkets into petty cash and by many other products that have made our lives easier...Louis asks a question for us to ponder...maybe our lives are TOO easy?

Top 4 new spots of the week

The economy continues to slide downward. Unemployment has now hit 8.5%. Blue chip companies are on the brink of collapse. How can we keep our heads high? Turn to TV. Stay up late. As the night grows late, and the morning approaches, the selection of TV shows thins...BUT, commercials get better and better! This week, we see some new spots that bring light to our dark days. Giggle a little, and you can't be unhappy. Check out the spots below and enjoy!...after all, how bad can our economy be if the below products are still successful?

Celtic Thunder. Remember the parody of synchronized swimming on Saturday Night Live in the 80's? Celtic Thunder appears to be such a parody of Celtic Woman, the perennial PBS singing troop that bring beautiful Celtic music and beautiful voices to our late night TV. Now, you can have 1983 pop songs sung by a 10 year old Irish boy. You can watch men sing songs in such an awkward fashion that you feel uncomfortable, even in a Snuggie. Dozens of people around Ireland, most of them related to the band, have sat in awe as their friends and relatives perform for the camera. Join the family. Join their friends. Please. They need the money!

Heel Stick. I don't like feet. I don't like pretty feet, and I especially don't like other peoples feet with huge, dried out calluses. If you want to see lots of feet, then check out this video. If you have calluses on your feet and want to burn them off with a stinky, non-FDA-approved greasy liquid, then be sure to visit their website, http://www.crackedheelstick.com/.


PortaBook. I promise you. I don't make these ads up. People spend their lives, staying up all night to come up with inventions like this. I imagine that this inventor was up late one night reading a book with exhausted arms...barely able to hold up a book. Ding. An idea! Now, I admit that the computer holding benefit is a pretty good idea. The angle does help typing become easier...and as I type on my laptop on my lap, I wish I had a device like this that would keep my computer cool. BUT...come on...is your 6 year old daughter going to use this to read in bed? Can't she just hold the book that is "stuffed" with 260 words and 110 pictures? Maybe, I'm too much of a skeptic, but are there really similar products that are being sold for $275? But, for $20, if you use a laptop computer frequently to read and comment on my blog, then it might be a good idea. http://www.portabooktv.com/


Smart Mop. This one looks like a good product...But the ad is still hilarious. I love Anthony Sullivan's statement that in this bad economy, you can pick up spills from the floor and pour back in your glass. He's trying to be sarcastic, but in his proper British accent, he sounds serious. Funny. This product is sure to show up on the rankings in the next couple of months...mark my words! http://www.buysmartmop.com/

ShamWow guy busted!

Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy, was busted for getting his tongue bitten by a prostitute. You can't make this stuff up! I won't go into the gory details, but I thought you should know. If you thought you couldn't trust him...you might be right. Yes, we know his demos are doctored...but aren't they all. We know he talks down at you and uses hard-hitting sales tactics to get you to "buy right now"...but that's nothing new. Now, we have a peek at his character. If Britney Spears can survive shaving her head, gaining 30 pounds and dismal public performances, surely Vince Shlomi will be able to launch another me-too product and generate millions of dollars in sales...if only People Magazine would cover stories like this, I might get a subscription.

If you'd like, read all the details, including the actual police report at: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html

Also, check out Jimmy Kimmel's hilarious stand-up routine and parody commercial...