April 8, 2009

Top 5 spots of the week

Funny. There's one reason that word is in the header banner on this website: infomercials are funny. This week is no disappointment. I found 5 brand new spots that are real doozies!

1. Heart Start home defibrillator, this isn't scary at all.
2. Sponge Tech, how much tech is there really when making sponges?
3. Nature's Nectar, funny, but not for the reasons you're thinking.
4. Newsmax, funny free product giveaway.
5. BananaSeal, nuff said.

Heart Start. Are you tired of not living on the edge? Frustrated with the lack of dangerous products the government will allow you to have in your own home? Perhaps, you're scared that you could have a heart attack any minute? Well now there's Heart Start, the home defibrillator. If your heart stops, this will get it started. In a society where most of us are scared to administer CPR, even on our own family, now you can send 1,000 volts through your loved ones to bring them back to life just like James Bond had to do to rid his body of deadly poison in Casino Royale...it could happen to you too...http://www.amazon.com/heartstart (you'll never guess how much this thing costs!)

Sponge Tech. "When is a sponge not a sponge?" A sponge is always a sponge. That's why they are called sponges, and why they cost about 10 cents a piece! Count how many times they say, "this is not a sponge..." in the ad. You'll quickly discover that they spend a lot of time trying to convince you this is NOT a sponge, so you won't be shocked when you find out you would have to pay $15 for 4 of them. But wait! These sponges have a patented soap infusion so you won't have to add your own soap...huh? Don't forget that you'll get a free Puddle Pal that you can use to wash your kids. What kind of patented chemical is in the Puddle Pal that I'm going to rub all over my baby??? http://spongetechtv.com

Nature's Nectar. "Does your family enjoy feeding hummingbirds as much as we do?" "Remember how much trouble your old hummingbird feeder was?" If you answered yes to either of these ridiculous questions, then please call 877-772-3642. Otherwise, check out the video for a good laugh. I especially love how "simple" it is to set this product up in only 13 steps...

Newsmax. Liberal bias? Yes. Afraid of scare tactics? No. Whether you agree that this magazine is politically slanted in a leftish direction or not...and I'm not picking sides here...you'll find this ad funny. After watching the first 20 seconds of the spot, I sold everything I owned on eBay and moved into the hills to escape terrorist threats. But then I was scared of forest fires, so I decided to bite the bullet and get my free emergency radio from Newsmax. Now I'm sleeping like a baby and don't have a care in the world...except when I turn on my emergency radio and hear all the scary things that are happening in my neighborhood! www.newsmax.com

BananaSeal. It's a Chip Clip. The only difference is that you have to pay shipping and handling. Oh yeah, and the promise that "your food will never go stale." Also, the pitchman is 10 years old, how could you resist? www.bananaseal.com


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